Getting Back on Track

I had a dream last night. One that I am not so sure it is one to share...but it was disturbing to the very core. It shook my dreams, my realities, and my beliefs...and it nearly shook my faith in myself and dare I say my husband. I haven't been sleeping. 6 or 7 hours of sleep every night and somehow I wake up exhausted. I come home from work exhausted knowing I have so much work to do, so much housework, cooking...just being a wife, a friend. I haven't seen a friend or even talked to one for well over a week. I guess what I'm getting at is that I know that Satan is trying to get at me. When everything seems so perfect and things are finally starting to settle down...he doesn't want me to be happy and he's trying to get to me in my dreams. Scary huh? Whats even more scary is that I am still feeling that uneasiness 8 hours later. Time to pray, time to confess, time to fast...time to do something. Something that is giving back to God and making my like meaningful to those around me. I have been making excuses that I am not settled in yet...and I'm not. But in a couple weeks I will be painting (yay) then after that I'm sure I'll have another project, and another. I need to make this a priority. It's funny how God puts little hints in your life here and there-people or events or advertisements or fliers for different events...my eyes aren't open...until now that is.

It's time I open my eyes to where God wants to lead me and not where I think I should be going. God led me this far with the man I love, I'm pretty sure he knows what I want more than I do.

First things first...finding a life group. This is not my favorite area, I'm shy and I don't like sharing my personal life with people that I haven't "sniffed out yet." Yeah I know, kind of an awkward way to put it, but if I feel that someone might judge me or think different of me, I don't want to put myself out there only to be hurt. I haven't had the best track record of christian friends but hey I guess that's what trusting in God is all about.