Wedding Plans and Christmas Parties

Between my family dinner this weekend, Class reunion of 05 next Friday, and my Cousins Christmas Party next Saturday, and the Holidays, I have my actual life to keep together.

So excited I got my dress this past weekend. I have found that the wedding is all I can think about. It's like until I find a location and thus have a wedding date, I won't be able to answer everyone's questions of "when is the wedding." It doesn't help that holidays=parties=more people asking about the wedding. I fell like it's crunch time, and it's really not...or maybe I'm just on a roll and I feel like that now I found my dress...that I should keep it going and I'll maybe find my venue and bridesmaid dresses as well. Then after those two things are done I can pretty much relax until a few months before the wedding....or at least spread it all out so I can finally stop freaking out about everything.

And then there's the other thing. My fiance accepted a co-op a couple hours away for a really good company. And I am so excited for him...as I should be, it's an amazing opportunity that I would never want him to miss out on. We've been through the long distance relationship...we can do that no problem (no doubt it sucks...but it's definitely worth it). With that being said; do you know how hard it is to know he'll be moving away in a month and I'm not even spending every day with him. Not that I'm trying to justify my reasons but I practically debate moving in until he moves so we could at least spend this last month together. I know I'm exaggerating and being totally over emotional on this yet I know when he leaves I'm going to wish I did spend more time with him.

My job. Oh my job. I don't get nearly enough hours, and despite the fact that I love it, I definitely can't keep doing it. If I did work full time, I would never get to see my family, never have enough time for my friends...and I'm still on the bottom of the totem poll. If I saw this as an outlet to move up to where I really want to work (in which I originally did...) Then I would stick to it, but this is just taking too long. Basically there is no real way for me to move up other than applying to different locations and trying different jobs. It's a slow, hard way to move up. Not what I thought it would be. Ughhh the grueling task of applying and applying and applying for jobs. Never know what you might like except for trial and error eh?! Onto the next career choice. All doing it with a smile because in the end I can't complain...Life is a Blessing from God.

Quick Update on my Oh so Crazyness

So I got engaged in May...right before my birthday, to one of my friends from high school. When we started dating in December everything happened so fast, it was like it had always been that way. My friend soon became my best friend and I have never had someone make me feel like such a wholesome person. Yea he makes me feel good about myself, but most important he's like that one person in my life that supports me and my dreams and respects me as an individual, not just his "other half". Honestly I never thought that existed, I thought when I got married I would come to the crossroads of "this is who I used to be" and "this is who I'm going to be". But I was wrong, I can be a wife, friend, and one day a mother without losing my identity, without compromising my dreams. When we announced our engagement, no doubt everyone was going to be surprised. I didn't exactly tell everyone that I was madly in love...I was too worried that I would be criticized for falling in love so soon. what I was really surprised about was that I was questioned about whether or not I was settling. I never would have believed that I would ever be the type to settle. Of course, not everyone had the chance to get to know my fiance, true, but they know me...right? Maybe I looked at it all wrong, and I just didn't give them a warning. Anyway...all is good. Everyone is excited for us and I am beginning the wedding plans....from Cincinnati. It's complicated but not impossible. Well we don't have a date yet so there is not serious rush, but if I learned anything from all the magazines and websites I've been reading, planning takes so much time and work that I need to give myself at least a year. I don't want to wait that long, so I am trying everything I can to get going without losing focus on my schoolwork and job hunt (in Cinci and Cbus)! Anyway...engagement isn't what I expected, it's definitely so much better! He is the most amazing match for me ever I couldn't ask for more!

As far as school goes, I graduated in June. Yay...sort of. I have another class I have to take and instead of proceeding with wedding plans and job searching, i'm stuck here for another 3 months for this one little class. Don't get me wrong, I love Cincinnati so much, it's gorgeous and has so much to offer, and my friends here...well most of them are scattered about the country now...but it's so hard to just try to go out and enjoy the summer when I have so much to do.

So what now? Oh there's finishing my last class, job hunting in cinci, job hunting in cbus, wedding planning....oh and the everyday things like bills and looking for someone to sublet my cincinnati apartment September-December. Oh and I have to squeeze High school reunion in there somewhere....ahhhh. :) all in good fun....ish.

Never Knew...

So I learned something knew about myself of this crazy trip. While pursuing my dreams...I got homesick. I don't get homesick. Yea I love my family, my parents, my friends...but I'm usually okay. If I feel like I want to go home, I just reassure myself that I'll get to see everyone again soon, and I'm here for a reason, so just make the best of it. I don't know what's different this time.

Is it because I'm only here for ten days and I know that I'm going to be back home soon but not soon enough.
Or because I know that I'm going to wake up on my birthday and be somewhere completely foreign to me?
Maybe it's the fact that I am completely 100% out of my element. I am staying with my godparents, but really...it's like a bed and breakfast. Although I do enjoy the conversations and we had a little girls night with dinner and a movie, it was fun but it's not home.
Is it the fact that I'm recently engaged and all I can think about lately is wanting to start this wedding planning and premarriage counseling? Because I know that until I do that, I can't get the ball rolling. Did dating and getting engaged to this amazing person make a home that is more emotional than physical and I am missing it that much? We are used to a long distance relationship, that's the way it's been, nothing different. I think it must be a combination of everything. Me being nervous about pursing my dreams and missing everyone, wishing I could just drive over to my parents house and talk to them about everything. I don't even have time to really talk to anyone on the phone...it's just not the same.

I just hope this doesn't hinder my plans of coming back for the summer. I would hate to not come back because I'm homesick. I had a tough day today, I'll just try again tomorrow. God will give me the strength to do what I came here for.

First day of Internship

So my first day of Internship in D.C. First off I just want to say that people in D.C. are the most rude non-drivers I have EVER come encounter with. HORRIBLE. To make things worse, the streets and the street signs have no rhyme or reason to them what-so-ever. On the flip-side, what I did get to see of the city (as I was driving my the Monument and the White House) is gorgeous. Everything seems to flow so well, the traffic and the people going to work, people taking the bus, runners, bikers, etc. Anyway...

Today I was getting introduced to the whole crew at Hutchinson Design Company. The company is an event "design" company, with just four people, the CEO, President, and 2 event specialists...and now ME! Today I met everyone but one of the event specialists, she just recently got married and is still on her honeymoon. I was able to listen in on conversations with the client and able to understand more of what the event was about and what the client was expecting.
For lunch we went down to the National Harbor. It was beautiful...an outside shopping area with little ice cream shops and restaurants. My boss (Kyle) and I ate lunch at McCormick's and Schmicks and I got the fish and chips, but I was disappointed because it was so greasy it almost made me ill.
Anyhow, I got to ride around in his little white BMW convertible with white leather interior that he got in April...that car is beautiful. I met some people while we were out, I feel like he knows everyone! He took me by the Gaylord Hotel, which is amazing! Some of the parties he plans are at the gorgeous hotel. By the time we got back to the office it was practically time for me to go. Tomorrow is another day :)

First night in D.C.

So I made it into D.C. tonight. I'm staying with my God-Family the Jones'. They have a beautiful home and the guest room I'm staying in is more like a bed-and-breakfast type room. At least i'll have a relaxing night before all of the fun begins.

Kyle, my boss and also my Dad's cousin, called and let me know that I was going to be able to sleep in since I got in so late, so I didn't have to be into work until 10am....which means I have to get up at 8, giving me 7 hours of sleep, a couple hours short of what I needed. Those two 5 hour energy shots I drank on the way down are keeping me up a little...imagine that! If 8am is sleeping in...I wonder what the rest of my week is going to look like, haha. Well that's what I'm here for right? To figure out if this is really what I want to do...if this is the right career for me. I guess I will find out bright and early tomorrow.

On another note...so glad that everyone knows about me and Johnny's engagement! I feel like a huge weight is lifted and I know that my whole family (both of our families) are behind us 100% despite some of the concerns they may have.

I'm late...I'm late for a very important date

I know I haven't been writing lately, and when I am it's more like a thought, not really a process of thinking or a cluster of thoughts. I think that I've been so busy, so mentally busy with everything I feel needs to be done within the next 4 weeks that I feel I don't have room to think of anything else, much less retain any thoughts, remembering dates and important events. Interesting enough, almost everyone knows me for my horrible memory and carelessness (putting my keys down and losing them almost instantly, leaving my things at friends/family's houses, etc etc). It's a little joke with my boyfriend that I might end up with Alzheimer by the time I'm 30. Not too funny if you really think about it...good thing about it is, I'm not too worried about it. See I know that I have a much better memory, a much more sound mind when I"m not in school. Why you ask? Because I'm not multi-tasking to the max, I'm not cramming and completely exhausting my short-term memory, and most of all, the key to a great memory...I get great sleep when I'm not in classes. One of my good friends told me to write everything down...which sounded like a great idea until I continually forgot to write most things down. 4 weeks of classes. Almost there and almost back to my good ole sane self...well as sane as I get :)

There is still plenty I must do within these 4 weeks such as

Accounting, Math and Women of Politics to study for
Release Fred and Ted into the wild before they kill each other
Finishing my senior project, which I have to present half of it on Saturday and i'm totally not ready
Job Search
Find someone to sublease my apt if needed
Figure out what i'm doing with this whole WSHS Reunion.
Bills....
Work....

fun fun fun :)

I've Been Waiting My Whole Life

The particular moment of Graduating from College isn't exactly the moment I've been waiting my whole life for, but it's the first day of the moments I've been waiting for. Ever since I was little I used to daydream, yes about my wedding day, but mostly just about living. About making big decisions, life changing decisions, making mistakes, and learning from them. Getting a new job, starting my own business, getting married, opening my shop, having kids, moving, seeing the world....I have always dreamed in adult form for as long as I can remember, and with graduation being only 12 weeks away, I can't decide if I'm terrified, or so ecstatic I can hardly take it. I know, I know. Everyone keeps telling me to take my time and enjoy my time in school while I have it because then comes the real world. You know what? Bring it on real world. There is so much I want to conquer, so much I want to tackle that I don't think I'll be missing much from the college world except for naps and the relationships I made. Working, bills, debt, huge mistakes, credit card debt, and starving due to lack of food and money...been there done that. When i'm working full-time, what could possibly be worse then that? I have goals, aspirations, and ambitions that I can't start working on until this 12 weeks is over. BUT, I'm going to try my hardest to enjoy it while I can. Soak up the sun and crank it out because I know that the summer of 2010 is going to be one of the best summers of my life. I can only thank God for me getting closer to him in this past years, and for him opening my eyes to the achievements I can make through him. I mean can you blame me for wanting to get started so badly?