I'm late...I'm late for a very important date

I know I haven't been writing lately, and when I am it's more like a thought, not really a process of thinking or a cluster of thoughts. I think that I've been so busy, so mentally busy with everything I feel needs to be done within the next 4 weeks that I feel I don't have room to think of anything else, much less retain any thoughts, remembering dates and important events. Interesting enough, almost everyone knows me for my horrible memory and carelessness (putting my keys down and losing them almost instantly, leaving my things at friends/family's houses, etc etc). It's a little joke with my boyfriend that I might end up with Alzheimer by the time I'm 30. Not too funny if you really think about it...good thing about it is, I'm not too worried about it. See I know that I have a much better memory, a much more sound mind when I"m not in school. Why you ask? Because I'm not multi-tasking to the max, I'm not cramming and completely exhausting my short-term memory, and most of all, the key to a great memory...I get great sleep when I'm not in classes. One of my good friends told me to write everything down...which sounded like a great idea until I continually forgot to write most things down. 4 weeks of classes. Almost there and almost back to my good ole sane self...well as sane as I get :)

There is still plenty I must do within these 4 weeks such as

Accounting, Math and Women of Politics to study for
Release Fred and Ted into the wild before they kill each other
Finishing my senior project, which I have to present half of it on Saturday and i'm totally not ready
Job Search
Find someone to sublease my apt if needed
Figure out what i'm doing with this whole WSHS Reunion.
Bills....
Work....

fun fun fun :)

I've Been Waiting My Whole Life

The particular moment of Graduating from College isn't exactly the moment I've been waiting my whole life for, but it's the first day of the moments I've been waiting for. Ever since I was little I used to daydream, yes about my wedding day, but mostly just about living. About making big decisions, life changing decisions, making mistakes, and learning from them. Getting a new job, starting my own business, getting married, opening my shop, having kids, moving, seeing the world....I have always dreamed in adult form for as long as I can remember, and with graduation being only 12 weeks away, I can't decide if I'm terrified, or so ecstatic I can hardly take it. I know, I know. Everyone keeps telling me to take my time and enjoy my time in school while I have it because then comes the real world. You know what? Bring it on real world. There is so much I want to conquer, so much I want to tackle that I don't think I'll be missing much from the college world except for naps and the relationships I made. Working, bills, debt, huge mistakes, credit card debt, and starving due to lack of food and money...been there done that. When i'm working full-time, what could possibly be worse then that? I have goals, aspirations, and ambitions that I can't start working on until this 12 weeks is over. BUT, I'm going to try my hardest to enjoy it while I can. Soak up the sun and crank it out because I know that the summer of 2010 is going to be one of the best summers of my life. I can only thank God for me getting closer to him in this past years, and for him opening my eyes to the achievements I can make through him. I mean can you blame me for wanting to get started so badly?

Pin Up Girls

I've always wanted to do one of those "OldTime Photos" at amusement parks or even find a photographer that is experienced in doing "dress-up" type photos for something like a pinup girl. They were so classy and beautiful..not like playboys.

I think i just like the little hats and the mary jane shoes :)

days like these

Whenever I'm having days like this, when everything feels so hopeless and too hard to do, I try to think about all the good I have in my life. Mostly the people in my life, but sometimes that isn't enough because everyone in columbus is so far away and people in cinci are too busy. Besides, depending on the day, If i'm feeling emotional I don't want to think about too many good times because it makes me feel even more sad about how bad i'm feeling in the first place. It's kinda of confusing, I know, but it's hard to explain.

So...I like to think about how God is watching over me no matter what and it could always be worse. Much, much worse. Even if you're not a christian and you don't believe that he's always watching, you have to know that you're always better off then others. That thought alone should make you feel a little bit better and give you even a tiny ounce of encouragement to push through and know that you're strong enough to make it through whatever you may be going through. I like songs like the one Little Big Town sang because they're not a christian band and this song isn't even about God...thats just the way I like to take it.


"Bring It On Home"

You got someone here wants to make it alright
Someone who loves you more than life right here
You got willing arms that'll hold you tight
A hand to lead you on through the night right here
I know your heart can get all tangled up inside
But don't you keep it to yourself

When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
The weight of the world is on your shoulders
I know what you need
Bring it on home to me

You know I know you like the back of my hand
But did you know I'm gonna do all that I can right here
I'm gonna lie with you till you fall asleep
When the morning comes I'm still gonna be right here (yes I am)
So take your worries and just drop them at the door
Just leave it all behind

Please let me be your safe harbor
Don't let the water come and carry you away

You got someone here wants to make it alright
Someone who loves you more than life right here

Life is funny

Life is funny. It just is. I don't know how to fully explain it really, but God definitely acts in mysterious ways. I guess you could say that I always knew that, and sometimes experienced it, but how I quickly forget. Take my relationships and school for example. Although I am almost done with school, I sit back and look back on everything and realize how everything has come together so perfectly. It wasn't necessarily the best or easiest way, but look how everything turned out! I honestly believe that if I didn't go through the rough times, I might now have ever learned from my experiences and mistakes, and then I wouldn't be here. I am so happy and motivated (as much as possible considering my senior-itis) with where I am in my life right now, that I can't think of any reason not to be happy.

I lost my job yesterday, and yes it was not a good way to go out, but you know what? I hated that job and it gave me so much stress anyway, I'm probably better without it. Besides who wouldn't want to work at a convenience store where the toothless man calls you "purdy"! It doesn't get any better then that.

My true friends and closer then ever before. I love that, and I love my friends! No matter that most of my friends are making life plans, getting into serious relationships, going after their career, or going to grad school, or even already in a good career, it makes me happy to know that each and everyone of them really truly do care about me in every sense.

God is great. Beer is Good. And people are crazy....and I'm just loving it.

Oh and on top of that I'm closer then I have ever been to having ABs...sooo ready to run this 1/2 marathon can't wait!!

so where does that leave me? I'm graduating in June...I have a couple choices on the table and for once I think I'm going to lean back and take my time...see what God tells my heart what to do.

1. Move back to Cbus to be closer to my family...besides I'm going to be an auntie X 6 in May :)

2. Stay in Cinci because I absolutely love it here. I can always visit Cbus on the weekends :)

3. Move. Wherever the wind takes me...then again I have the rest of my life for that!

soooo as a conclusion. I'm happy. happy happy happy. And I only have God, and my bestest friends and fam to thank for that :)

Please Pray for the Soldiers and their families!

Army officer opens fire at Ford Hood, killing 12

so basically this Army officer opened fire today at 1:30pm with 2 handguns and killed 12 people and wounded 31. Is this crazy or what? I just want to put this out there and let everyone aware of the situation so that people can pray for the soldiers and their families! So many people were touched by this tragedy and it's in God's hands now.







http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ihGepAkECGoDagETVBMpPb3w7Y3gD9BPM5BG0

phew...i need a drink

I honestly don't know what I'm even going to write about right now. I'm just going to go with the flow. I've had one of those days where I wish I had permanent amnesia and would drive til I ended up on the West coast thinking I was 25, had a PhD, and my name was Autumn Brooks or something pretty awesome. Ahhh I just want out of these situations that I don't even know how I get here in the first place. I just wake up and WHAM...right in the face....

2 jobs
5 classes
no money....too many bills
mom on my back about finding an apartment and new job
ex boyfriend on my back who I'm trying to convince is over, but trying to hurt him as least as possible
potential b/f that I don't wanna scare away, but don't wanna jump into anything with either

yeah yeah i know i should focus on the good things in life...which i do. i actually think that i'm happier now with who i am than i have been my whole entire college life. I know what I want for the most part, and I'm going after it. I have goals and standards and i'm sticking to it and going after it. Then why oh why does everything have to come crumbling down at once!?!

I have so much to be thankful for, especially now. Some of the greatest friends ever, always there for me and pretty darn understanding.

well thats all for now. Thank God that he put people here on earth for me so I can get through all of this shit i have to go through for what ever reasons.