heart-broken

I was going to write this really looong sappy blog about how hard it is to break someone's heart. But in all reality, there's not really much to say. And it's not fun to write about that. The real truth is, that I may have broke his heart, but my heart is broken too. To the point where it physically hurts. Everything hurts, but mainly my heart, emotionally and physically. It hurts to breath, it hurts to think, and it hurts to smile. I never thought the term "heartbreak" would ever be literal. If I look back at my past, i've been through a lot of hurt, a LOT. But what I never realized until today, was that before, I was hurt, betrayed, abused...but never heart broken.

Although I know it is the right thing to do, not one part of me, not one little inkling feels good about it, not even okay. In a way I do feel like I'm free, but like a bird that's been caged too long, I don't think I could live on my own. I know, a little dramatic and I don't mean it literal, but that's how I feel at the moment.

I just pray that God will give me the strength I've been praying for all of this time. I have faith...I have hope that he doesn't give me just the strength, but joy.