never underestimate your mother, she will shoot you in the heart

The whole point of me being single was to catch my breath, look around and see what my life was all about. I didn't have time to be in a relationship when i didn't know who i was, or worse, wasn't happy with who i was. I knew i had to be more responsible, take more initiative towards my life and my future, my goals, my happiness. Here I am back in a relationship that frankly, I am very happy with. Its not taking up too much of my time, and I feel as if i'm getting done what I need to, or atleast its not the relationship that might be holding me back or distracting me. For once i actually feel accomplished. That for once I know what I'm doing and I know exactly what I need to improve on and what I am good at. I know where I am and I know where I want to go. Don't get me wrong, I don't have it all figured out, as a matter of fact I have no idea if what i'm doing is going to work or if my plans will work out the way i want them to. The good thing is that I'm happy with it. I'm happy with the way things are going and i'm happy with the way i respond to stress...i'm just happy and stressed and frustrated and motivated, but happy. For once i don't feel like this pointless ugly ducky floating in a sea of swans. okay maybe that didn't make so much sense.
Anyhow, my mother just blasted me this morning. I had a great 12 hours with my family, and on my way home she gives me this phone call that basically shot me. "you need to think about what you're doing heather. by getting back with brandon you're basically leading him on to think that you're going to marry you because you know he wants to marry you." thats what she said to me. The whole point of breaking up and getting back together was to have a new begining. I had no clue how to respond to that. so i just told her okay, i'll think about it. I don't want to get married, i can barely think past this week. I'm not quite sure what she expects from me. if she thinks i'm making all the wrong decisions than she needs to just up front tell me instead of insulting sideways like that. Great, just great. the rest of my week is going to be hell. i can tell already because ontop of all of that my best girl friend is mad at me because i am canceling our plans for this coming up weekend due to mothers day coming up. The only person i have left to talk about this is Brandon. I can't talk to him about this because its about him, and its something my mom said. I guess i'll just have to pray that God can get me through this week.